In a Complete Screwed Up Mood!!!!eeeeewwwwwwwww

Do I scream??? Do I shout??? Can I actually be very angry and just throw tantrums....Should I be always nice to people??? Why do I take flak from people??? They can survive without me na?? Or is it always please do this thing for us na??? Maybe they do know that I will at the end of the day. Why do I always bend down to those rules?? Why cant I make my own set of rules??? Why Why Why???? I mean just Why??? Cant a human being breathe....or maybe if others have forgotten that a human should breathe...coz they are busy being blood suckers...well you just cannot do anything...but remind yourself that you are an absolute human being who should well just BREATHE....exhale..inhale...exhale...inhale......which is just not happening.

I just want to relax....relax....want to get rid of these questions roaming around my head....which is just too irritating....anwayzzz...signing off....

Me, Myself and My Instincts....

How many times do you wake up in the morning and are almost sure that something will happen that you have dreamt about in your sleep as well. And when you see that happening, your joy is inescapable (if I can so use that word). And it is very much. There is this certain man Mr X, who I am not chasing - but would like to be friends with.

Did not receive his mails for a long time - so mailed him back - and I knew that I was supposed to receive his mail - but he sure does mail a shocker everytime he mails back...This time he sure asked for my number... which obviously made my excitement levels shoot up!

As I received a mail this afternoon which said if Life gives you a second opportunity - do take it...do not take it negatively. The beauty is obviously in not carrying the extra luggage of the past along with you when starting a new friendship or relationship which I guess we all are very quick to do - I guess even if it does not cross our mind we try to find a reason to get it back and torture ourselves. Our we sadists in our own sweet way?? Do we thrive or do we wait impatiently for something to happen - something rather negative to happen.

So even if I do date this guy and go out with him - there is always a nagging doubt about what lies ahead....I guess thats where we f*** up heavily in always wanting or eager to see what lies ahead.

All I need right now is loads and loads of luck to me...and also optimism which has become less and I really have to get back to it. Rather bounce back to it...and yea coming back to the topic I also have to rely on my instincts as well!!!

Doing it on the LAP - (I meant blogging)

well, well well....its for the first time that I am writing this blog from my LAPTOP and I sure am feeling at the top of the world - particularly after crying my heart out for the disastrous outfit that my mum got for me....:P anyways now since all thats settled...as it does everytime - let me tell you that nobody absolutely nobody liked my last blog that I had written....especially some of my male friends.

For the simple reason that I do not understand the 'one night stands' I have yet to understand what that means. I hope somebody will be able to explain to me what that means. Apart from that during this last weekend saw Horton Hears a WHO - a movie that you certainly need to watch...cannot just simply miss it. I sort of like animated movies with a moral - the moral of this movie was obviously - A person is a person no matter how SMALL.

Apart from that today no Monday morning blues....I guess you sort of you get tired of complaining about the same old thing. By the way am happy by the way my grey cells are getting whacked out day by day. Its simply helping me understand radio more and more. Which I always say that is always simple to understand. Its just that people make it sound more and more complicated - like how our station does it....oh yea that reminds me I need to log on to Facebook and write something for the Radio Club...

That's me always on the fly...but I guess thats how we like it - had it been very simple and peaceful I guess we like that for just one day, maybe two days but after that well....POOF!!! Give us some madness...

All ready to get on to the madness thats called WORK for tomm...

P.S: Got my bonus- well and I asked some of my colleagues around - they say its okay dokay...so....I always think do I actually deserve that or what??? Problem with me is that I never ever ask about the money....:((

Bad Love or bad LUST or plain old one night stand!!!

Why is it that everyone treats 'making love' or should I say one night stand or for want of better word - SEX as casual - its no more the desire- the want - the passion that one has to have for another person. Its like one of your basic necessities - yea yea....I know I know it is a basic necessity! But to such an extent that you will go around if you like a person go ahead with that person - end it say your goodbyes and well.....just say - "I had a great nite!"

What about those days when it was actually an act of love - rather than some sort of show off that people do off late - and discussing positions is well like telling people what exercise they should do if they want to reduce the stomach area - or if they want biceps, etc...and you can no more blame the male gender for their hunger to sleep with women.

What do you know....its become a two sided story....even women crave for it. And gone are the days when there was something like ok let him make the first move....and NOW - Well am gonna be reaching the top baby!!! whadda you know!!!

And after the 11 minute activity (well the survey says its good if it lasts till 13 minutes - sorry guys for that) but what the heck - an activity is an activity...well its like - Do I actually know you??

Guess next time when you meet the person and you ask them whats so unique about a particular person perhaps you might hear them say that well - he/she sure knows the ____ position very well - no longer are the days when you can actually say - he's a good kisser....GOSH!!!

I think am going bonkers.....till then well have a great and a safe nite!!!!

POPPING THE BLUE PILL...

Oh no..no..no...before you think that the blue pill is a Viagra pill or the 'contraceptive pill' please stop your grey cells to go further ahead then and there itself!!!

I have supposedly got corns in my foot - and its not funny...and I thought corns are only meant for old ladies....or have I become 'old' already. The day I had them probably I was too busy to check out - and I guess a week passed by when I found that it hurted while I was walking so I had to tilt my foot and then walk - indeed a very funny way but then you cannot help it if your individuality spells 'lazy' and I am one of those people who will check only when the tides have risen or there is too much fire on the house that I cannot handle it.

Obviously the corn decided to act nasty since I did not go ahead to the doc to check. So I had one more at the toe - hmmm....in one of the solutions (and I mean liquid solution that heals corns/warts/mosaic warts - what in the bloody world does that mean???) that I use informs me that corns usually take place at the toes. Well one at the toe and one at the heel of my foot.

Finally I the princess of some LA LA Land went ahead and met the doc shedding my laziness or ignorance as they say - and what did he give - blue pills to be had before lunch and one and half white tablets (I still do not understand the concept of half pills - do they cure us only half way???) anywayz...so I have to have them after Dinner. Then there are folic acid pills that I am supposed to have coz I am at the brink of being anemic - Gosh!!!

By the way its lunch time - so I got to pop one of those blue pills before I munch on my lunch....

When somebody shows you your true mirror!!!!

What do you do....when you yourself know half the truth - but then somebody points it out 'literally' points it out that its like as if you have been pinched in the side! And that's when you jump! Your reactions are like should I laugh or should I cry or what??? There is no sense of direction - at the same point of time you react like any child does when criticized - but I guess here is the sense of maturity that comes in on how can you actually handle it all.

Either it could be coz you were thinking all along that well - you are the most beautiful person on this earth - wait a sec thats what philosophy tells us - think positive and things will work accordingly! But what if someone just stamps on it so bad so bad that well, you feel like sulking like a child. And you do too...which is so evident on your face! How does one handle the truth? By telling the whole world that you are actually trying to do something about it! Well, honey, that does not work coz this f****** world needs proof. They need a living proof that your bloody overweight matters to you so much that they expect to see results with the snap of their fingers! Well, that has just sort of infuriated me to no limits that I am determined to now work towards the results!

I guess for a change my mum will be the happiest! I know, I know - you are supposed to take such remarks in your stride - hold your head up high and walk with that. No boss thats not me...can't be goody two shoes telling myself that its alright! I can't do that anymore - at least with my appearance cannot compromise. Will have to work towards something better...but as they say you cannot stop wagging tongues. :)

So what the hell! Lets rock and roll! Will do as my heart pleases! hehehehe...thats same old me..

The Power of what's called Will Power!!!

You may say what's life without money, what's life without intelligence, beauty, fame, friends, love, chocolate and what not! One more thing I learnt in these past two days, is what's life without WILL POWER! Look at the word itself. The word is so huge that you need enough power to say the word as well....if you only believe in the same. If not well, then when you spell will power you may not only have the power but also you wouldn't have the will to say the same!

BIG Fm had this contest known as Chipak ke Jeeto running for three days which was not only a test for endurance but also a test for will power. How much willing are you to give - either its to prove yourself or to get something that you have been aiming for. And these contestants stood there fighting against each and every odds that came across their way.

What they taught me, is that you don't have to be built to fight, the situation itself moulds you in such a way that you can create miracles. You can create magic only if you want to do it. And its your unconcious that prepares you to do that. Your concious will always tell you that you are weak...you perhaps may not be able to do it...so just stay out of it. What feeds you with that power is - your own unconcious mind. We do things which we do not think that we will do it. It just happens.

And then that happiness is enough to tell you that you have emerged a winner out of all the odds. And what matters is yourself and nothing else. As the famous line goes, when you try to do something, the whole universe unites with you to fulfill that one dream that you have. But apart from the Universe what you also need is - WILL POWER...

Powerfully yours :)