The ART of FAKISM (or is the act)

No matter, how much you do not want to....you just have to FAKE it! Its like you have no choice at all! Whether its a smile, a laugh, loving somebody or for that matter even an orgasm. Haven't you heard that - on how many times you need to fake it to reach to the top! :)

Anywayz, I think my time too has arrived that I need to fake it too....no matter what. No not the orgasm part. But even a smile. Which till date I have not yet succeeded...a cold shoulder is what I need to give...Gosh! How I wish I was cold-blooded! Just the look is enough to freeze anyone in their place. So from now on, all you will see is that smile which goes hmmmm.....but my only concern is that I hope I don't lose out the real 'ME' somewhere in the act of faking so much so that I am confused in who's the real ME!!! But then that too or there too lies the art of doing it effectively, without posing any harm on oneself.

The need thus arose, coz am just too tired of getting hurt, being emotional, trusting somebody and then trying to get up and trying to find a 'better person' to lead better lives....SIGH!!!! and a big SIGH! to that...coz I do not want to get tied along with somebody...

Today is day 1 for experimenting with fakism....lets see how far I go....hehehehehee....or maybe not too far...I may just come back...(considering the success ratio) :)) coz the heart is always involved...maybe I just need to settle in with however I am...spread my hands out and say...u wanna welcome me...do that or just F*** off!!! You really have no right to rule my life...coz I decide that!!

Its my Birthday!!!!! So what do I want????

Its my birthday today!!! yea on 3rd of November a ROCKSTAR was born and yea thats me!!!! Now, what do I actually want for myself on this day??? First of all, I need to catch up on some sleep, loads of sleep at that. Then yea sit with 'old' friends and family as well and catch up with those old times and great times that I had! Coz its like yea 'Those were the best days of my life - to remember and cherish!' Though today am at work, well am not complainin, except that they just give me compensation on something or the other. And then will just fly out like a free bird from here!!! I just read my horoscope and yea they do read 'good' things for your next year. But all am wondering is will they really happen?? Really?? All I need is that grit and determination to go ahead and think positively instead of whining everytime.

And no matter how much I write this, I dont think its going to help, coz it will keep on happening. It just has to be my own self-realisation that will work. That I can go on a complete high and make it there!!! Nywayz....they say its not a big deal that its your birthday and all! But well, its a day where you can feel special and wanted. At least people give you some minutes, okay seconds of attention. Otherwise every day its so hectic they fail to notice you or anything about you...hehehehee...(a bit exaggerated though!) so am glad to be enjoying this day though am at work. I do hope to go home soon! And real soon....

Happy happy Birthday to ME!!!!! Here's wishing myself that I smile a lot and laugh a lot!!!!!! Hahahahahaa.......I just did!