In Pursuit of Satisfaction.....will just keep on goin...there is no end

yea...the year is just ending with two more days to go. No...no this isnt going to be one of those blogs where I will say 'The best of 2007' or the 'worst of 2007'. Lets say I did learn a lot and may have become a bit mature at that...(well you don't need to laugh at that comment) in fact I have. Maybe a bit stronger too. Its like this warrior who wasn't too keen to go on a war, wasn't prepared so was in no situation to face the consequences. Though the warrior had that ability - only thing she did not realise it. And that is really sad when you fail to understand your own abilities - the power that you have. Thats like losing out on something.



I mean even now, with this job that I have, though I do not want to find faults with it. I still try to probe, poke and try to whine just to find sufficient excuses to escape from something. Thinking once again - I seriously will gain no satisfaction in what I am doing. And I don't want that to happen again and again.



Secondly, men....no no...not that there aren't too many there are way too much than I can handle...the same ways of trying to flirt, to get involved and all that...Please God can I find better people who know the meaning of love, affection and above all friendship and yea a good sense of humour. They all keep laughing at their own pathetic jokes...and expect others to do the same. :) they have seriously lost all sense.



Thirdly, fulfill all my mum's wishes yea keeping in mind my own choices...



And may I earn more and more money so I can buy more boots, handbags and travel a lot....



So there, I blew up again...no satisfaction at all...it just keeps on increasing no matter what time of the year and what day. Will have 2008 as not wishes but demands to have more, want more - it could be in form of psychological wish or material wishes. Do wish me luck....:)

Here's to a rocking 2008!!!!

To be or Not to BE!!!! (Can I actually take revenge??)

Can I actually take revenge?? Well, naahhh....maybe bittersweet revenge yea....but something major well - I haven't qualifed for that as yet. When I gave my so called on-air audition yesterday, this is what I had to wonder....I mean...even no matter how deeply I feel about it...its always my family values that stop me from going ahead. And I guess trying to plot and all that can actually rob me of all my energies. Which I need to save up for better things to happen in life.
Coz if you ask me right now, well yea am bubbling under so much that guess when it pops open I will have loads of it that will come out - in form of revenge. And after seeing this particular Hindi movie where the actress Urmila Matondkar takes revenge on actor Saif Ali Khan....by taking him to the cave and tying him up with chains and leaving him to be fed by the rats...Ah! How I feel I could be that ruthless. But thats my biggest problem - I just cannot afford to.
And the cat and mouse game is best to be left with the useless lovers of this world. Who have nothing to do except plot and plan how to make the other one jealous or envious. Which is not just me...blaahhh....its just takes you down....
Anywayz revenge or no revenge.... at least for a change am happy today. You do not even want to know what I have written on the soft board. :) (wink!) yea...

Learning to SAIL SKILFULLY.....

No...no...no...do not expect me to shed tears and cry now....its a funny situation...very funny..and yea as they say please do not take any drastic steps....naahhh...dont worry about me committing suicide - :) coz I won't,yea perhaps others may.....as my mom famously says....you got to learn to swim in the rough choppy sea. Yeah initially I used to swim in a river...now I really need to learn to swim in the sea. After the kind of "shark" I just happened to meet...(btw the shark just happened to pass by) wow how I just love this!!!!! anywayz...so now I really need to plan and chalk it all out...for myself.

As for swimming in the sea....now is the time to act smart and clever....maybe I can say goodbye to the days when I used to run for the 'EXIT'...which I was and am still considering for the same. And which I shall not do. Coz when will I be a survivor rather than being called 'ESCAPIST' every other time when people come with their horror masks to come and scare me away! And yea I do run away....this time its going to be a little different. Little??? Well now that depends on my success ratio. How successfully can I really get out of it all....

Okay enough of philosophical talks...first things first, where I actually needed to cry is....when one of my colleague cum classmate cum (oh uh well can I actually call her a frnd) got more than me and not just twice the amount thrice the amount!!!! Well I really want to dislike her but thats no fault of her's its mine...I should have been a bit persistent...which am not...you see I always behave as Money can be got from anywhere...maybe there's a tree where you just need to go ahead and pluck them all!!!! So am not toooo careful about it....so well what's the point in crying...

Half the world act smart and can get away with everything and anything they want...thus leaving you alone to sail your own ship...its like you thought they were doing it so you could sit and just chill maro...suddenly when the ship starts to act funny you panic...thats exactly whats happening...so moral of the story....

SAIL YOUR OWN SHIP AND NEVER PICK AND CHOOSE JUST THROW THEM IN THE SEA!!!! :)) (need to learn to be wicked!!) one more skill to learn in my kitty.....