You know sometimes there is that itch....a bit of discomfort, restlessness, etc...a need to do something...but you get so agitated that you don't know where to go- what to do and above all how to do... Off late I have realised I have become very restless - there seems to be a certain kind of unrest in my mind...really confused and well...most importantly - How do I get out of here???
There are loads of things you want to do - you list them down too. But you know how a human mind fuctions, the day we get involved with our usual work - we forget what we wanted, what our heart desired, and where do we exactly want to go.
We have sort of become slaves to work, to time - I know many writers, great philosophers have written about this - but I sort of cannot get out of it...the time when I took break did I realise I can go to work without actually putting my heart or being emotionally attached to it...but its all the same. I mean then work takes over us, and we become slaves again...coz we carry the same work home. And the stupidest excuse we give to ourselves is well, its work, you just cannot put it off...yeah really??? Wow...am so dedicated...this is a foolish satisfaction that we give to our heart...convincing ourselves emotionally...
Someday they seriously need to introduce a Nobel Prize for working like a dog or a donkey...whatever they find suits better...probably coz there is less of that bunch...and perhaps more of them...again human psychology rules... We think we are the only 'person' doing it...nobody else will be able to do it...than ME...
Phew...again the mind diverts, travels its own journey, comes back to square one and then wanders off....till it finds the right track....
Am off....to find that track...you find yours....ever became successful do let me know...am dying to know that myself...
Will write a book someday on the same....
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Face In the Window ( a story I had written some 5 years back)
There is this story had written long long long time back....and after that well, I haven't written any stories....I do not know the reason....but when I keep on reading this it sort of pushes me to write a book in the near future....Amen to that....here is the story....and yea let me add this was the time when I actually was charmed by the world of psychology (I still do think my office people are suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder) :)) Enjoy reading...Comments are always welcome!
Face in the Window
Someone is after me, dressed in black, it was raining very heavily that night, all I remember is that I was running in dense woods, there was no place to hide. I trip over a branch and fall flat on my face. Till that time my intruder gets an advantage over me and he comes near me with something silver shining in his hand, “O…no,” I scream, he sneers at me ready to butcher me like he did to others, and then there will be no witnesses, he points out the stiletto at my throat and says, “Be prepared to die!” All I remember is that I screamed out loud as I could and fainted then and there.
I wake up, trembling and sweating, one of the nurse is already by my side, the doctor gives her orders to strap me tight to the bed, “She should be given shock treatment, nurse” says the doctor. I have been given a dose of injection and later on the shock treatment is brought and as they prepare to make me unconscious I drift back to my past.
My name is Brenda Carl Davis. I, am an author by profession, I am 26. I write books based on fiction, fiction, and more fiction.Every book of mine has been a bestseller. One of the bestseller, which sold more than million copies, was “Face in the Window”
This book is based on a serial rapist/murderer. He targeted young, ambitious, and single women. There was a particular time and place that he chose his victim.
This book is based on a serial rapist cum murderer who is running free. After raping his victim he brutally kills her and after each and every murder he draws a face in the window with the victims blood indicating that she will be his next victim . “Try and stop me,” he writes after his work, and thus he always been successful in his work, no matter how much the police try to find and warn the person by that time the rapist has already finished his work and he is on the move.
Now in the end the conclusion is that there is handicapped female who kills him in the end.
Meanwhile, I remember very clearly, it was a month ago that this incident had occurred which has brought me to this place…. I was sitting all alone watching 8’o clock news when there was a knock at the door, must be my pesky neighbor I thought, when I opened the door, to my surprise there was no one, so I stepped out to see if there might be some naughty kids playing pranks with me…. as I stepped out I tripped over the object I look down the corridor and closed the door.
Since I am a writer I do get many gifts and letters from my fans so this was usual, only it was a big gift. I opened it and gasp! To my horror there was a rag doll with its neck twisted to one side, there was a note. “The game has begun, even you will die,” it said, “Try and stop me.” I smiled someone has definitely got more wild imagination than me. “And the main crime stories today are…the city is shocked at attempted rape and murder of a 16 year old girl Denise Colagn at 7.30 p.m. this evening at South Minneapolis. She was butchered mercilessly. The police found no evidence but are trying, they say that only thing the murderer cum rapist has left behind is a sketch in the window with the victims blood.
“O.No…” I scream that means the threat that I got was for real. I call up the cops, they come after 15 minutes to have a look at the gift sent to me. “Someone must be playing pranks with you Miss Davis, I don’t see any harm here,” says the senior officer. “Goodnight Miss Davis and don’t worry about such things.” “ B…but the girl, he may start killing other females y..you..”
“Miss Davis I would you to go sleep nothing has happened so good night!”
As days and nights passed by, I started hearing more and more of rape and murder and the “face in the window” and everytime the police said that it is nothing. So I decided to go and investigate and save those innocent girls, I myself go on a hunt because I knew where he would go, the killer victimized people at South Minneapolis…it was a very dense place so I go all equipped with torch, dark clothes and rubber shoes. Unfortunately it was raining that night, so there was a smell of wet soil. As I stood there I heard ruffling smell behind me I turned around there was nothing I started running even the person behind me did the same, I knew I had to act on impulse so I turned around and picked up the stick lying down, it was then I saw him he was standing two feet far from me I could see him sneering at me, “ so Miss Writer wants to become Miss Heroine huh? Hahahahahaha…” he laughs out loud. “You won’t kill anyone again,” I say with nervousness, he suddenly plunged at me with a dagger. “Noooo…” I scream, that was the last thing I remember.
“Mrs. Davis, I am sorry to say but you have to keep your daughter here for special care and treatment,” Dr. Alice tells my mom. “But what has happened to her?” inquires my mom. “Your daughter is suffering from a mental illness called schizophrenia, she imagines things and she thinks that those things are happening for real. She cannot differentiate between reality and imagination and that is why she keeps on getting visions. This generally happens when the person is undergoing through too much stress and fatigue.
“Will she be alright doctor?” asks my worried mother, “I really cant guarantee you anything Mrs. Davis, you will have to be patient.” As the doctor tells this to my mom she leaves her alone and walks away to attend other patients while my mom looks at me with concern from the cubicle window while I look back at her at her and see her “Face in the window.”
Face in the Window
Someone is after me, dressed in black, it was raining very heavily that night, all I remember is that I was running in dense woods, there was no place to hide. I trip over a branch and fall flat on my face. Till that time my intruder gets an advantage over me and he comes near me with something silver shining in his hand, “O…no,” I scream, he sneers at me ready to butcher me like he did to others, and then there will be no witnesses, he points out the stiletto at my throat and says, “Be prepared to die!” All I remember is that I screamed out loud as I could and fainted then and there.
I wake up, trembling and sweating, one of the nurse is already by my side, the doctor gives her orders to strap me tight to the bed, “She should be given shock treatment, nurse” says the doctor. I have been given a dose of injection and later on the shock treatment is brought and as they prepare to make me unconscious I drift back to my past.
My name is Brenda Carl Davis. I, am an author by profession, I am 26. I write books based on fiction, fiction, and more fiction.Every book of mine has been a bestseller. One of the bestseller, which sold more than million copies, was “Face in the Window”
This book is based on a serial rapist/murderer. He targeted young, ambitious, and single women. There was a particular time and place that he chose his victim.
This book is based on a serial rapist cum murderer who is running free. After raping his victim he brutally kills her and after each and every murder he draws a face in the window with the victims blood indicating that she will be his next victim . “Try and stop me,” he writes after his work, and thus he always been successful in his work, no matter how much the police try to find and warn the person by that time the rapist has already finished his work and he is on the move.
Now in the end the conclusion is that there is handicapped female who kills him in the end.
Meanwhile, I remember very clearly, it was a month ago that this incident had occurred which has brought me to this place…. I was sitting all alone watching 8’o clock news when there was a knock at the door, must be my pesky neighbor I thought, when I opened the door, to my surprise there was no one, so I stepped out to see if there might be some naughty kids playing pranks with me…. as I stepped out I tripped over the object I look down the corridor and closed the door.
Since I am a writer I do get many gifts and letters from my fans so this was usual, only it was a big gift. I opened it and gasp! To my horror there was a rag doll with its neck twisted to one side, there was a note. “The game has begun, even you will die,” it said, “Try and stop me.” I smiled someone has definitely got more wild imagination than me. “And the main crime stories today are…the city is shocked at attempted rape and murder of a 16 year old girl Denise Colagn at 7.30 p.m. this evening at South Minneapolis. She was butchered mercilessly. The police found no evidence but are trying, they say that only thing the murderer cum rapist has left behind is a sketch in the window with the victims blood.
“O.No…” I scream that means the threat that I got was for real. I call up the cops, they come after 15 minutes to have a look at the gift sent to me. “Someone must be playing pranks with you Miss Davis, I don’t see any harm here,” says the senior officer. “Goodnight Miss Davis and don’t worry about such things.” “ B…but the girl, he may start killing other females y..you..”
“Miss Davis I would you to go sleep nothing has happened so good night!”
As days and nights passed by, I started hearing more and more of rape and murder and the “face in the window” and everytime the police said that it is nothing. So I decided to go and investigate and save those innocent girls, I myself go on a hunt because I knew where he would go, the killer victimized people at South Minneapolis…it was a very dense place so I go all equipped with torch, dark clothes and rubber shoes. Unfortunately it was raining that night, so there was a smell of wet soil. As I stood there I heard ruffling smell behind me I turned around there was nothing I started running even the person behind me did the same, I knew I had to act on impulse so I turned around and picked up the stick lying down, it was then I saw him he was standing two feet far from me I could see him sneering at me, “ so Miss Writer wants to become Miss Heroine huh? Hahahahahaha…” he laughs out loud. “You won’t kill anyone again,” I say with nervousness, he suddenly plunged at me with a dagger. “Noooo…” I scream, that was the last thing I remember.
“Mrs. Davis, I am sorry to say but you have to keep your daughter here for special care and treatment,” Dr. Alice tells my mom. “But what has happened to her?” inquires my mom. “Your daughter is suffering from a mental illness called schizophrenia, she imagines things and she thinks that those things are happening for real. She cannot differentiate between reality and imagination and that is why she keeps on getting visions. This generally happens when the person is undergoing through too much stress and fatigue.
“Will she be alright doctor?” asks my worried mother, “I really cant guarantee you anything Mrs. Davis, you will have to be patient.” As the doctor tells this to my mom she leaves her alone and walks away to attend other patients while my mom looks at me with concern from the cubicle window while I look back at her at her and see her “Face in the window.”
When was the last time you were hit?? (I meant mentally!!!)
I feel so down, so out and so out of the blue...that am all out of love...am not lost without anybody...but its getting lonelier by the minute...I mean it is seriously very funny the way people behave....one moment they are nice to you the next minute they are like ....well - its worse than getting introduced...and then you get lost...like who do I converse with??? Everybody bloody around are so...well..selfish and so eeewwww...that at times you feel as if you have just committed a sin...and there were witnesses who saw you do that...and all are going to testify against you....
Its getting bloody lonelier here...coz I just dont know whats happening at my place...that similar to my place being in some corner of the office I too feel as if I have been locked up and forgotten in some part of the hole...that I will not be called maybe if I leave the place people will not notice...but then the question is why do you want people to notice...are you so hungry for attention that you will want people to notice you...to stand up and salute you...I guess these shoddy expectations sort of leave you bruised and scarred...that even if its just a scratch on your skin it hurts and it bloody hurts so much that there will be nobody who can come and wipe off your tears...
I guess when you expect a lot...life just shows you that a paper can be blank...and not necessarily anything can be written on it...even when you think there will be another instruction of life...and that is what is not sad...coz the paper wants you to write something on it...where it wants you to create your own rules - why is it that...we always look at the door...longing that somebody will open, shout, and embrace you telling you that - "Its ok, I am here!!!" There are one in five times that - that happens...
And when that doesnt happen....human psychology is such that you start blaming your own nature, character that you are good for nothing...or probably you have become so bad or unnoticeable that it is these things that make you cry and bring despair in your life. Which is just so sad...
No matter how many times after I have seen Batman - The Dark Knight - that am so bloody obsessed with the Joker character...that I want to be somewhat similar to him while dealing with stupid situations in my life...that well I just cant seem to handle it....I just become so emotional myself...that there is no self realisation that whatever is happening is ok...its just a phase...and well...let things be as they are...and not be bothered by it....aaahhhh...
Sometimes I do wonder why I cant leave it as it is.....Just let go.....can I? Well.....only time can tell....but one thing is for sure....if I have managed to become stronger - I will emerge a winner out of all this mucky situation as well.... all I have to do is let it pass....
See you soon here...I intend to write soon.....its more of soul searching...which will keep happening....:) there's hope!!! May God bestow some of Joker's character's ingredients in me....hehehehe...
Its getting bloody lonelier here...coz I just dont know whats happening at my place...that similar to my place being in some corner of the office I too feel as if I have been locked up and forgotten in some part of the hole...that I will not be called maybe if I leave the place people will not notice...but then the question is why do you want people to notice...are you so hungry for attention that you will want people to notice you...to stand up and salute you...I guess these shoddy expectations sort of leave you bruised and scarred...that even if its just a scratch on your skin it hurts and it bloody hurts so much that there will be nobody who can come and wipe off your tears...
I guess when you expect a lot...life just shows you that a paper can be blank...and not necessarily anything can be written on it...even when you think there will be another instruction of life...and that is what is not sad...coz the paper wants you to write something on it...where it wants you to create your own rules - why is it that...we always look at the door...longing that somebody will open, shout, and embrace you telling you that - "Its ok, I am here!!!" There are one in five times that - that happens...
And when that doesnt happen....human psychology is such that you start blaming your own nature, character that you are good for nothing...or probably you have become so bad or unnoticeable that it is these things that make you cry and bring despair in your life. Which is just so sad...
No matter how many times after I have seen Batman - The Dark Knight - that am so bloody obsessed with the Joker character...that I want to be somewhat similar to him while dealing with stupid situations in my life...that well I just cant seem to handle it....I just become so emotional myself...that there is no self realisation that whatever is happening is ok...its just a phase...and well...let things be as they are...and not be bothered by it....aaahhhh...
Sometimes I do wonder why I cant leave it as it is.....Just let go.....can I? Well.....only time can tell....but one thing is for sure....if I have managed to become stronger - I will emerge a winner out of all this mucky situation as well.... all I have to do is let it pass....
See you soon here...I intend to write soon.....its more of soul searching...which will keep happening....:) there's hope!!! May God bestow some of Joker's character's ingredients in me....hehehehe...
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