Pre Marriage Blues Part II

Okay, so I am blogging after a looong time....but am blogging at least. Tomorrow is April 1st...which doesn't sort of cool my senses or calm my nerves (not that somebody is going to make a fool out of me on this 'auspicious day') but apparently my marriage date is set on April 27th - which is the reason that I have begun to feel all sorts of different emotions at one go. You name it I got it! Nervous, excitement, happiness, sadness, angry - Wow!!!

Shopping is on - though not everything listed is purchased. Have given myself a three day break - and am not active at all! The sarees that I purchased well have got seven of them already! Now I have to learn how to drape them - can't expect somebody to come and do it for you. One thing my elder cousin told me was to learn everything on my own. Be independent. Learn to be strong and rest will follow. Then you know how the feeling is - you feel you just have a few days to stay at your parents home so enjoy as much as you can, get pampered, etc, etc...But I guess maybe practising to be strong, to be independent starts here....

Trying to learn yoga (completely this time) wouldn't want to end up looking fat even after marriage or for that matter put on that extra weight. Meditation is something which can help me as well. Have got several advices as to going to a massage parlour so that your skin glows on your D-day. Am trying to myself motivated - but thats easier said than done. No longer do I try to feel happy, try to feel special something or the other crops up to dash it off.

And in this state of mind - negativity make its way - guess its just waiting around the corner to catch hold of its next victim (not that its difficult to find victims, but the more the merrier) and its also easy to make yourself feel - Oh poor me, how will I go through this, how will my relatives be? There is precisely no end to this.

Watch out for this space coz you might just get to read more of my roller coaster emotions or my pre marriage blues! Wish me luck!

Pre Marriage Blues - Part I

Okay....so whoever said that getting married is the most easiest thing to do in life must have eloped or must be dumb to say that (sorry to say that but couldn't help it). While its true that the real picture comes after you get married - just taking the first step could probably be well, shaky. As for me well will be getting married in a month - and there are all sorts of emotions that are running through my heart, different sort of thoughts running through my head. All I know is that I want to be really really happy when I get married and even after marriage. Take that extra effort, do something that I haven't really done. As Buz Lurhmann says, "Do something that scares you", probably not every other day. But yeah I mean when I look back at my life there are few things that I do regret. But then as they say if you do not make mistakes - you cannot be perfect. In fact these very mistakes help you to be perfect....

But its like that, a different phase taking place. And though am nervous as hell coz I will be leaving my safe and warm zone and moving to another zone, its going to take time to adjust to that whole new world. Coz I haven't stayed with my relatives let alone mingle with them so..... And the very fact being that I have always stayed in touch with my friends. They mean everything to me. So....well. Lets see.

Anywayz...so thats that every other day I keep on giving a philosophical talk to myself to motivate me to keep myself ready for whatever will happen in the future. So am trying to brush it off my shoulders.... Breathe in...Breathe out....Gosh!!!! Will keep you posted on whats happening....haven't started out with shopping as yet...so.....will let you know the first item on my list!

When Lust and MMS Collide!

I yawned, stretched and as I picked up todays newspaper early in the morning - the first thing that caught my eye was - 'B-School Student Circulates ex-lover Striptease Act' - which happened in Delhi. Whoa! I mean a big WHOA!!! Heard all those horror stories where you have hidden cameras that click the act unknowingly! But what about this girl all of 23-years-old? I mean do all that you want for your boyfriend, but guess when lust takes a wrong turn this is what happens.

Turns out the guy proposed the girl to get married to him and she dumped him. To top it the guy had the audacity to log on to her email ID and then mail the clip to some of her friends. And why wouldn't he - if he got the right to shoot her video it obviously meant he could use it for whatever purpose that he wanted to. Why just blame the guy only! The girl is equally responsible too!

Lust is important too in a relationship but when it comes this far - it turns out as a revenge - it wrecks apart your reputation, your goodwill. Which is given freely to people no matter even to your boyfriend to be toyed so easily. But the Generation Y has an answer to this as well - we think we are so forward, so broad minded and have every freedom in the world to do what we want to. Even if it ends in a similar result as this - its okay. As the phrase goes, 'Chalta Hai'! Yea right.

Do not be surprised if you see more of such stories on the front page of your newspaper. Do not also be shocked when you read that off late college going males prefer to have sex with their girlfriends 'without a condom' coz they think that she is from a good family so she is the safest rather than a commercial sex worker. Wow! I mean what more.....you may probably tag me as someone who is not ahead with the times - well if being ahead is this - am happy to be in the cocoon that I am with my thoughts!!!

Bidding your PAST goodbye!!!

At times it seems to be the most difficult task to let go off your past and accept the present. No matter how interesting your present is to you. But still you run behind your past, think about your past, ponder over it, scratch your head (till you notice that your hair starts falling). No matter how much you think about the past - nothing can be done. It just remains past. Similar to the antiques you see kept in the museum. Your past is just like that. Its a different thing that you have visitors who pay to admire it.

Unfortunately your past is not admired by you rather its just thought about. The only outcome you get from it is that you emerge stronger, probably wiser (don't we all want to think that way) SIGH!!! A big SIGH!

Then comes the question - Oh but wish I had a perfect life - wish I didn't make A my friend. Wish I was smarter to tackle things. Wish I had that attitude, wish I was even more beautiful, wish I was sexier, wish I had taken care of this before, wish I could take care of my health....and the list is endless.

Then you make yourself understand that well we are all humans - we are bound to make mistakes, it happens, human hearts tend to go with slow, its only but natural. So learn the lessons and bid goodbye to your past.

If only human minds and hearts work that way. How you wish!!!! But I guess your past sort of makes you a more responsible person. You tend to be more cautious, probably you may also experience the same pain again but maybe the third time you may just stop yourself!

The next time you start thinking about your past - think of one positive thing that turned out of the whole experience.

And am strong enough.....

Some days are very hunky dory...some aren't the same that way. That actually makes you wonder should I be actually be this happy??? Can I let the sun shine on my face for a few more minutes??? And then suddenly that happiness flushes out so quickly that reality hits you hard where it hurts! When you feel that everything around you is turning to be negative, when your hopes have been crushed, and probably you may just feel that darkness is enveloping you engulfing you that you feel that you have no place to breathe.

Thats when you want to break free - find a solution want to be smart want to get up dust your pants off and walk off with your head held high. Though yea I feel like I want to live for myself at times you feel that even an animal survives but for itself only. Not for anybody around. Then why live like an animal??? Once you have decided on the same - why not listen to it why not hear everything and not take it to heart. Coz the more you get affected, the more people around you will love harassing you. The best thing about it all is that you appear stronger, powerful - you know your mind and you know that you are the mightiest, standing tall yet humble.

Amidst all this what makes you different is the realisation that you are not like them, that you love yourself and are willing to listen to others criticism - accept them with a smile and walk ahead with your head held high. The secret is that you are unique, and the people who come up with criticism will not make you weak but will make you stronger.

So I would say that in itself is a solution - let the swords be out, arrows aimed - Am ready for it all baby! You are not making me feel weak - am only growing strong!!!!

Knock knock knocking on my door....

As I sit down to write this blog - am still wondering what I should actually write. In fact what I wanted to write is already printed at the back of my head. This past week has been a roller coaster ride for me. And I thought I should write it down and not let it go to waste - coz why not share the most wonderful surprises that Life rather Destiny has in store for us.

Last week - I was being told that my company does not have a role for me - asked to me to decide what I would like to do for the company. They were giving me a position which just didn't suit my passion, my creativity, my ideas. So as a result - I bid them goodbye with a heavy heart. I know usually its not supposed to be that way. Rather you would think - hey lets quit, what the heck... So thats there. This door was officially CLOSED!

So now what NEXT?
Well, I was supposed to meet this guy as to see if we could be a suitable match and if that happens would we be happy sharing our future together. I just sat with him for about five hours. Asking questions back and forth. I mean how many questions can one ask - and even if you do manage to ask - how helpful would that question's answer be in the near future. But as the cliche goes - that spark, that connection is enough to help you sail through the whole thing.

Which is what I did.... the very next day things got decided - that we would be having the 'roka' or the confirmation ceremony as I would like to call it. It was seriously a roller coaster ride. You just don't know what will happen - what will change and who will be standing by your side. I mean it was only till yesterday that I was single and ready to mingle.

But am no more single, ready to mingle and all that. I am officially now engaged to be married and that too soon. So you see sometimes life does ask you questions - its waiting for you to give the answers, though destiny is involved in the process. It is the matter of how much you allow yourself to go with the flow without assuming, questioning or suspecting.

As humans we always tend to think that all the negative things are bound to happen to us. We live in fear, that sadisitic pleasure that we get by thinking that probably something bad might happen. Nobody would think about it conciously but it is there at the back of everyones mind. So thats there.

All that is left for me to do is to learn, explore and implement! As famous writers say, Watch out for this space! Ta Da!!! See u soon!

Happy Republic Day!!!

I had gone to Fun Republic to watch Raaz 2 - The Mystery Continues - yeah the mystery still continues as to why our Bollywood directors can't shoot a decent horror movie. And no this blog is not about Raaz - but for the fact when we enter the cinema hall with our popcorn, drinks that at times it seems like food piling competition. And then just at the start of the movie you will be requested to rise for the national anthem.

Forget rising, people literally glide through the first notes of the national anthem. Sometimes it makes me so furious as to catch hold of them and send them off to the LOC! There are some who are so engrossed in finding their seats as if somebody will steal their seats if they didn't reach in time, some who are bothered about stashing popcorn in their mouth, etc...etc. And no am not writing this blog to give them any piece of advice.

But am writing this coz there is this national anthem at Fun Republic which particularly moves me everytime I hear it. And I still haven't come across this National Anthem that Fun Republic plays. While other cinema halls play the usual National Anthem sung by classic and legendary singers (Lata Mangeshkar, Asha Bhosle, Pandit Jasraj, Hariharan), Fun Republic plays a different national anthem.

They show the Indian Army standing at the Siachen Glacier, standing tall and mighty against the freezing cold (where temperatures dip as low as -50 degrees Celsius) saluting the Indian flag. The next clip shows a soldier trying to hold the Indian Flag upright admidst the cold and gusty wind. That whole clip moves you so much that it gives you goose bumps when you see them getting drenched - with rain drops touching their face without any remorse (as if they deserve it). It ends with the Indian Army and Indian Air Force saluting the Indian Flag along with the credits for the national anthem that was played. Jai Hind!